Fan of the Week: Dan

Very first Fan of the Week post! This week’s fan is Dan.

daniel cactus

Name: Daniel

Class: 2013

Favorite UMass Basketball Player:  Chaz Williams

Favorite UMass Basketball Memory:   When Chaz and Putney hooked up for a full court alley oop that became a sportscenter top play

Outline a quick plot for Space Jam 2, featuring Chaz Williams and Derek Kellogg as main characters:
“Space Jam II: All Chazzed Up
John Calipari returns to UMass to try to get his old job back after being fired from Kentucky for pulling a “Rick Pitino”. He tells Coach Kellog he’ll play him for the court and the job.
Each coach gets to choose one player and they will have a 1 on 1 match to 21 to be officiated by Bob Costas and annouced by Gus Johnson. Winner gets to coach the Minutemen and loser has to coach the Quidditch team. Kellog chooses Chaz and Calipari brings an eight foot tall, twenty three year old freshman from Bulgaria who he bribed with 100,000 rubles and a lifetime supply of Borscht
Chaz is losing by 10-1 at half time when Marcus Camby and Spike Lee show up unannounced. Spike gives Chaz a pump up speech and tells him he is the best thing to come out of Brooklyn since Jay Z and Marcus gives Chaz a bottle of “Marcus’s Secret Stuff”. Chaz’s daughter also does something adorable which further motivates him (“Daddy if you lose I’ll still love you..etc.)
Will it be enough to beat evil Coach Calipari and the Bulgarian Phenom? (Spoiler alert: yes)”
There you have it. Inspiring stuff from our fan of the week. Hopefully, Space Jam II: All Chazzed Up hits theaters soon.
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  • Slim Phil

    With Gus Johnson on the mic, it’s sure to be a classic. I just hope you can lure him out of his lucrative football and soccer announcing careers and back to basketball. Which is where he belongs.

  • Adam S

    and what better way to get him back into basketball than a space jam sequel. I assume spike lee is going to direct it as well, bringing an awkward racial undertone (Chaz the brooklyn native vs. the white guy from Bulgaria – obviously an allegory of Spike Lee’s discontent with Mikhail Prokhorov’s ownership in favor of Jay-Z) to an otherwise fun, family film.

    • AssDan

      That’s exactly the tone I was going for. Think of a cross between Do The Right Thing and White Men Can’t Jump

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